February 13, 2013

Baby Fever

People always say "You'll forget" while you are in parenthood horror and that always sounds so cliche. Like, "How in the world am I going to forget giving birth? How in the world am I going to forget the days where she cried all day and we bounced her on the yoga ball all night?" And guess what - it's not just cliche, it's also not true. You don't forget. There's no way in this world, or in hell that you will forget. However, somehow, in this crazy, crazy world, we have been designed to miss those days. No, no, I don't really miss bouncing on the yoga ball until my neck and shoulders were stiff, or carrying a screaming baby around in the baby carrier in the middle of the day, drinking a beer, crying to my sister in law on the phone. However, I do really miss my baby.

She's one, I know. Not all that old yet. However I really miss holding my itty bitty baby. The baby that needed me, wanted me, and I could fit into my purse if I chose to. The little helpless, tiny, human being that couldn't roll, couldn't sit up, talk or feed herself. The one that would think an afternoon of me blowing on her face was hilarious. The one that needed me to feed her milk while she gazed up at me for 10-20 minutes of beautiful silence.

Now she's a giant in comparison; an independent giant. She talks, feeds herself, wants to do everything by herself, and doesn't even want to hug me anymore. She can go up and down the stairs alone. It's tragic.

Now I get why people want more than one child. Even the ones that don't. (Me.) The moment your child becomes a toddler, it's over people. Those days of the innocent coos, gaas, and tiny Swaddler diapers are gone. I never thought I could get baby fever ever again. I thought Noelle's colic, acid reflux, allergies, (nonexistent) sleep habits, etc. were enough to turn me off from babies for the rest of my life. All of a sudden, she's like this kid, and I want my baby back.

Not only that, but once you have survived your first and only baby, you feel like you can totally do it again, because you'll be able to do things differently. I don't know how entirely true this is, but I feel like it's worth a shot.

What am I saying? That I'm going to have another baby soon? No. But I just get it now...how someone can go from "NO WAY" to "OK!" on having another, impossibly needy, messy, dependent, cute, sweet, adorable bundle of joy/terror.

Baby Fever. I've got it. Don't catch it. It's contagious and lethal. 

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