August 9, 2012

Transitions

People always said transitions were hard.

The hardest transition I've come across wasn't one for Noelle, but for me. As many of you know I started work this week. I knew it was going to be difficult going from being a stay at home mother to a working mother. I spent most of last week feeling mournful about leaving Noelle in the hands of someone else during the day but rationalized and convinced myself it would get better and easier with time.

I'm waiting for that time to come, because a week in is certainly not enough time yet! Going from being at home with Noelle to going to work as been a very hard adjustment for me.

I can't get over the fact that while someone else gets to watch my child, play with my child and in some ways raise, teach and shape my child, I am in another room doing that for other children. It breaks my heart. I love to teach, don't get me wrong. And I love kids. Everyone knows this. But being away from Noelle crushes me. Although I know she's in wonderful, caring hands, that will give her hugs, feed her and play with her, they aren't my hands.

Hopefully the transition gets easier for me, since it has been no problem for Noelle. Noelle has taken naps at school each day this week, ate all her meals, taken her bottles with no problem and already loves her teachers, classroom and new friends. When I walk past her classroom door and peek at her, she always has a smile on her face and is thoroughly enjoying herself. It makes me so happy to see her happy, but also sad because I am not there with her to enjoy every experience and moment. I guess I need to swallow it, and let my baby grow.


Love you so much Noelle. Didn't know that mommy was going to take it so hard separating from you! Enjoy your first year of "school" my baby.

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