May 25, 2012

Love Letters (2)

Dearest Noelle,
Will you stop growing so fast already? It makes mommy so proud, happy, excited, anxious, but most of all, sad. I remember everything so clearly, from the moment that I found out you were a girl, to the moment I gave birth to you and you took my breath away to the first night you slept at home in your swing next to our bed. I also remember your first bath, your first night in your crib all alone, the day you laughed out loud, and so much more. How can you already be half a year old now? That went by too fast for me! I know your dad feels the same.

A lady told me at ECFE (who has 2 kids) that the one thing she regrets is not recording everything, writing things down, taking enough pictures, and videos. Dad was there too when the lady said it and that was probably one of our biggest take aways from class. We decided that day that we don't want to forget anything. So I'm committed to writing this blog, and dad is committed to taking lots of videos and pictures of you. We love you so much and we don't ever want to forget all these moments you make us smile, cry and laugh out loud. You are the greatest thing little critter.

Even though there are hard days when I'm crabby, or daddy's crabby, or you are in fact the crabby one, know that we never stop adoring you. It's strange but even though I spend almost every single waking moment with you, the second you go to bed I find myself looking through your pictures. Ask dad if you don't believe me. I never can get enough of you. I think about you constantly, and cannot wait to kiss you and hug you every day. 

Motherhood has changed me, for the better. For example, I am not a morning person. I hate mornings. And you wake up extremely early. I want to scream each morning when you get up but the moment I see your face I melt and I am instantly happy, singing to you and grabbing you into my arms. I also have never been sillier. You give me the confidence to sing although I cannot carry a tune, dance although I have no rhythm and make up wild stories and use my imagination. I make a fool out of myself on a daily basis and frankly, I don't care who sees. I'd do anything to make you smile and laugh. And when you do, I am filled with so much love it's almost embarrassing. I dote on you a lot, I know. I'm one of those parents. But I can't help it. How can any parent not dote on their child? You are the most important and the best part of my day. I can't help but to talk about you and gaze at you constantly. 

Not every day is paradise. Sometimes you scream a lot and I can't figure out what you want with me. Sometimes I don't get enough sleep and I want to cry too. But I have to say it's still a dream come true to have you. I'd rather look after you than anything else. I was meant to be your mommy and I wasn't given anything that I cannot handle. Your colic, your acid reflux, your allergies, your sleep problems...all of that means nothing compared to your smile, your laugh, your little toes, your hugs and your sweet smell.

I love you so much,

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